#8 - The Psychology Professor

This very well educated gentleman first messaged me in June on the last day of school. He asked me to meet him at 7 pm at Coffee Culture in Bradford. I agreed. At 8 pm I arrived wearing a black mini skirt, black tank top, dark panty hose, black heels and red lipstick. The gentleman looked exactly like his profile photo. He was very attractive, fit and youthful looking. He bought me a latte and we began what amounted to a 4.5 hour conversation. He was brilliant! We discussed dating, psychology and attraction between the sexes. He told me that he had authored 4 books and was currently working on his fifth. He indicated that he understood human behaviour and let me know that "chemistry" was an innate quality; a man could not help who he was driven towards. I disagreed, trying to debate him but clearly I was no match for his genius; he quoted studies and authors and presented an amazing argument. I reminded myself to buy one of his books (perhaps his fifth). It was a fun evening; I learned so much and felt like I had attended a university lecture. Close to midnight, he walked me to my car, hugging me as we said good night. I would have dated this man but he did not pursue it. Three months later, we messaged each other again on the internet dating site. I suggested that we meet again for a coffee. He agreed but later cancelled because something came up for him. A week later we met at the same coffee shop. This time I wore, black track pants, a fuschia tank top with matching hoodie, runners and pink lipstick. I arrived 10 minutes late and watched his eyes scan me as I approached his seat. I knew what he was thinking "this is a different lady than the one I met in June." There went his chemistry theory out the window! He said that I looked different, more confident and thinner. I told him that I had been working out every day since July 1st. We talked a lot about fitness and the internet dating site. After an hour, we stood up, he walked me to my car and we parted ways. The next morning he messaged me. We continued to communicate by email. He asked me on another date, but I had to decline. He asked for a raincheck. Eventually we agreed to meet for a movie and drinks. A few days before our date, he got "cold feet", messaging me: "We should probably cancel our date because it sounds like you're looking for a relationship and I'm not. I'm not that into you and if I were looking for a relationship it would be with someone I was more into ..." I found it quite insulting but responded that we should still do it, just for fun. What this gentleman had in intelligence, he lacked in social skills. A day before the date he messaged me with a single digit, "7". I responded "yes, I'll meet you there." On a Friday night in October, we met in the foyer of Silvercity Newmarket. He arrived wearing a black leather jacket, khaki pants; looking as handsome as ever. I wore black leggings, a black mini dress with violet trim, a short black jacket, black heels and fuschia lipstick. My dark hair hung attractively over my shoulders. He was very polite, buying the tickets and later taking me out for a glass of red wine but the entire evening I felt awkward because of what he had said. We discussed his fifth book, his disciplined lifestyle, his fitness regime and his beloved cats. Before we left the restaurant, he invited me to go to his place, which I declined; afterall, he wasn't that into me ... We said our good byes. Lesson #8 - Some men on internet dating sites, though very intelligent lack the social skills required to court a lady. Life Lesson for the Gentleman - Don't ever tell a lady that you are not that into her! It will ruin any chance you may have to get to know her, not to mention, I believe that "chemistry" grows with familiarity and is not a one time only innate quality. I know we disagree on this point.