I met this gentleman online, early on in this process. His photos revealed a tall, dark handsome stranger who was educated and well-travelled. His profile stated that he was seeking a relationship. He was 50 and had never married - red flag alert!
After a few messages, he left his text number and I responded. We texted several times a day and he called me on occasion. He told me about his garden, his work, his past girlfriends and the reason why he had never married. He explained that he had come close to a committment but his fiance had left him in the eleventh hour. I detected that he was not over this.
He spoke about his family; his parents and his neice and nephew. He wanted me to text him photos of myself, but I refused. I asked to meet him. We made a date to meet at a coffee shop in Aurora on a Tuesday evening. Just an hour before we were to meet, he texted me saying that he had to go to his parents' place for dinner and he would have to cancel. It was a lame excuse (another red flag alert) but we continued to text each other.
He texted me the first thing in the morning, the last thing at night and several times during the day. He was obsessive about it. I began to know everything about him, or so I thought. One day, a few weeks later, I had to go to Richmond Hill to a medical appointment and suggested that we meet for coffee afterward since he lived in the area. He agreed.
As I left the medical building, I texted him and he cancelled our meeting, saying that he wasn't up to it and we would connect another time. It became evident that he was avoiding meeting me in person.
Everything was revealed a few weeks later when I was in Stouffville, attending my son's rugby tournament. I was there for the afternoon and welcomed an hour or so escape since rugby isn't really my sport; I prefer watching him play soccer or hockey. I texted the gentleman and let him know that I was closeby and would love to meet for a coffee. He responded stating that he wasn't home. I asked him where he was and he said "at my mistress's place in Woodbridge."
My response was: "are you married too? Do you have kids?" He said: "no, I'm not married!" I was furious. I felt I had invested so much time and energy communicating with him and he hadn't even met me for a coffee. I knew I needed to end it.
I began deleting hundreds of text messages from my phone; then I removed my outbox messages as well. It took a long time but with each layer of deleted messages I was eliminating frustration and freeing up my phone. I vowed never again to save messages!
The following Monday, I drove to his office. I knew where he worked; he had told me. I wore a flowered mini, summer dress, red heels, red lipstick, long flowing hair and Guess sunglasses. As I approached his office door, I felt apprehensive but knew that I had a right to see him in person. His office door was locked. I knocked.
I heard shuffling behind the door and then it opened. An elderly gentleman, frail, with white hair and slightly stooped, stood in the doorway. I looked long and hard and finally recognized him. Yes, he had the gentleman's features but those photos had to be decades old. He was also much older and shorter than his profile indicated. I reached out my hand and he called out my name. He muttered something about taking me for a coffee later on in the day. I said I had to get back but had just wanted to meet him. We said good-bye.
As I was headed to my car in the parking lot, my cell went off and there was a text message. It said "loose thirty pounds and we'll f___!" I deleted it.
Life Lesson - Gentlemen on internet dating sites may post very outdated photographs or photographs that are not even of themselves. Information in a profile can be false and misleading. Life Lesson for the Gentleman - I don't know what kind of game you are playing because you are still on the site with the outdated photographs and misleading information. Clearly when you meet, all will be revealed! Your comments were very rude. You are no gentleman!!
