This evening a gentleman from the internet dating site messaged me. He was 52 years old, 6'1" tall, Irish/Scotish and a computer scientist. The conversation went something like this:
Gentleman: Hey smarty pants! How are you?
Lady: Pretty good and actually I am smart, lol. I teach high school Math. So how is a good-looking, smart guy like you, single? That doesn't add up!
Gentleman: Well, I moved here from Calgary to get married but, it didn't work out. Maybe I am not so smart , lol. I could very well ask the same of you smarty-pants :) What is your name? D.
Lady: My marriage broke up about 16 years ago. I've been a single Mom ever since. My name is J. Were you born in Calgary? What is your ethnicity?
Gentleman: Hi J. :) I never married - what a shame. I'm from here but I served in the Armed forces in Calgary. I'm a Canadian except way back I am Irish and Scottish, which means I have a drinking problem but I am too cheap to buy a round ;) What is your ethnic background? D.
Lady: Well, D., you're right about the drinking problem and the cheapness. I was married to a guy who is half Scottish and half Irish, lol. I am Italian, born and raised in Northern Ontario and my dad's family was of Spanish descent. I visited Barcelona last summer to see the art. Where do you work Einstein??
Gentleman: Lol, ask a loaded question and .... I thought latin-born too :) You also speak French. I work for a retail chain in Toronto. Want some free cosmetics smarty-pants?
Lady: Would love some...anything that makes me look even younger, lol. Yes, I speak French, love visiting Quebec and France. Do you speak French?
Gentleman: Great, lets run away to Montreal tomorrow. Seriously, I am going tomorrow :) Yes, I speak French.
Lady: I love Montreal. If I had sick days left (the government took them all away) I'd run off with you. But seriously, you're not too far off. :)
Gentleman: I'm staying in the prettiest little hotel in Montreal, overlooking the St Lawrence. I love your pics. All of them are sexy! I could come up the 404 to visit you :)
Lady: I like the idea of you coming up the 404 to see me. I've stayed at the cutest B and B in Quebec city, overlooking the St. Lawrence, really love old Quebec.
Gentleman: We should plan to meet. You probably have a fixed schedule but, I work shifts. I love Quebec and lived there for six years - various places. I speak it as much as I can. A third of my calls at work are French.
Lady: tres bien, j'aimerais te rencontrer...
Gentleman: J`aimerais ca aussi. J`aimerais bien ca.
Lady: K. When do you get back from Montreal?
Gentleman: I'm coming back Sat night. We can stay in touch with text: *** *** **** Or, we can keep emailing :)
Lady: K. What is your last name? LONG PAUSE
Gentleman: It's "M." What is your last name? D.
Lady: Mine is C.. What did you do in the army? VERY LONG PAUSE
Gentleman: Long story... What a career! I could talk for hours :) That's how I learned French and got a pilots license too. What is your master degree in? D.
Lady: It's in Education with an emphasis on gender-based learning. I graduated from U. of T. in 2010. Do you still fly? VERY LONG PAUSE - IN FACT IT FELT LIKE NO RESPONSE SO I CHECKED THE SIGHT AND SAW HIM ONLINE. THEN I CLICKED ON CHAT, TO INSTANT MESSAGE HIM, BUT HE DID NOT RESPOND. FINALLY I TEXTED HIM, SAYING "HI". AGAIN NO RESPONSE. AFTER 20 MINUTES:
Gentleman: Wow, you are amazing! You must be quite the person to talk to :) I'm going to get some rest for my sore back. I was doing some squats today, D.
Lady: Hi D. I forgot to mention that I don't serial date and I expect any gentleman that intends to meet me or have a date with me to do the same. If you are currently talking to other women on this site then do not message me again. Have a good evening. I'm off to the gym.:)
Then at the gym it finally occured to me that this is how to deal with this internet dating site. In the last year I have met 30 men and out of these only 4 did not show deplorable behaviour (that means 26/30 or 87% of the gentlemen were emotionally immature, rude, narcissistic,lied in their profile and had no intention of seeking a committed relationship.) So, contrary to the relationship gurus who advise a lady to have no expectations for the first few dates, I decided to have expectations immediately before they even meet me. This weeds out the "unfit" ones and saves a lady time, emotional energy and stress. Not only that but it leaves the gentlemen, I am sure, dumbfounded and probably has them thinking about their future behaviour. This would become my new rule of thumb.
No comments:
Post a Comment