At least a dozen of these gentlemen are still messaging me, trying to get me back. In most cases, they're the ones that forced my hand, to end it, because of their inappropriate behaviour. Ironic as it may seem, they feel entitled to get me back, after "the 33 or 38 year old didn't pan out" or "the swingers club wasn't as fulfilling as they had anticipated" or "the prostitute" or "the emotionally detached hook-ups ran their course". Why me?
The gentlemen I have written about showed poor judgement, emotional immaturity, sex addiction, lack of control, impulsiveness and regret. These men were between the ages of 45 and 62, had good positions and were financially stable. They were confused and unhappy because if they weren't they wouldn't be trying to contact me months later.
On Saturday morning, a few minutes before I left for Yoga, my cell phone rang and there was the Government Employee, calling me after more than a month with his number hidden. I didn't recognize him at first but he told me who he was and I was stuck talking to him. He rambled on about his ancestry being half Irish, half Scottish and how he hadn't been dancing for a long time. Then he indicated that he had no plans that evening and would be "home alone". I quickly told him that I would be attending a St. Patrick's Day event with friends. Then I let him know that I was rushing out to Yoga class and had to go. He muttered on something about calling me again. The last time I saw him, two months ago, he showed up at a dance that we were supposed to attend with a 33 year old Iranian lady.
Yesterday, I received a text message from the lawyer from London: "You are more beautiful by the day...I cannot resist your exuding graceful charm and beauty which though we be apart at this moment transcend the grip of time and space ..."
Last week the Accountant who admitted to sleeping with the prostitute on his birthday messaged me on the internet dating site after seven months. I did not reply.
Many relationship gurus preach the philosophy that women have to change their attitude toward men in an attempt to keep them interested and monogomous. This involves saying and doing the right thing to "keep their man". I disagree with this approach. There is no excuse for bad behaviour.
They also emphasize that a lady should be positive, assume that the man is serious, interested, dating only them, want a relationship and have no expectations for the first several dates. That is how I was. In each case, the gentleman did something which totally derailed the friendship. As I said, no decent woman, with positive self-esteem would tolerate such behaviour.
Several of the gentlemen I encountered on this quest, I would deem narcissistic and emotionally unstable. They violated a code of conduct and showed no regard for my feelings.
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