We began meeting at a gym for yoga or weight-training, which was productive and fun. I decided to invite him to a play, "Jasper Station" in Cookstown, about 20 minutes from my home. On a Sunday afternoon, he appeared at my door and we set off in his red Dodge. It was a beautiful day and we laughed through the entire comedy, really enjoying the event.
A few weeks later I invited him to a juried show in Aurora, which included 2 of my paintings. We perused three floors of amazing art, sipped wine and met some of my friends. Our friendship grew and before we knew it we had been on over a dozen dates.
I began to notice that he worked all of the time and had a lot of female friends at the gym that he conversed with. One time I invited him to a pool party. He came quite late and left abruptly as soon as my friends dispersed. On another occasion I invited him to my neighbour's party. He stayed twenty minutes, didn't eat or drink a thing, but instead, went to buy his sick father a loaf of bread, indicating that he would return. Eventually I left, along with the others. He showed up at my friends' place when the party was over; then stopped by my home, stating that he had been helping his father. I wondered why he had double-booked himself!
On the day of my birthday I never heard from him until late in the evening when he casually messaged me. I reminded him, again, that today was my birthday. At this point he panicked, texting more messages, wishing me well. The next morning I received a "Happy Birthday" message on my answering machine. How nice it would have been to receive that phone call on my birthday! It was apparent that I was not a priority in his life.
The sinker came when he invited me to a classical guitar concert; he asked if we could go "dutch" which I accepted. On the date of the event he picked me up in his red Dodge. I wore a black, silver studded mini with matching platform heels, bulky black and silver jewelry and a casual three quarter sleeve sweater. He wore a golf shirt, designer jeans and running shoes.
The concert was not very good but we were enjoying each other's company so it didn't matter. At intermission, we ran into a couple he knew. He spent a lot of time talking to the attractive, married woman and completely forgot I was there. Eventually, I walked away, saying: "I am going to the back!" He finally joined me. Awkwardly, we returned to our seats.
At the end of the event, we attended a reception given by the performers. He greeted the beautiful guitarist with enthusiasm, asking me to take innumerable photographs of him and her. He handed her his business card and could not be pulled away. After everyone, except for the staff, had left, I suggested we proceed as well. We stepped outside, in the rain. Halfway back to his car, he hesitated declaring: "I want to go back!" I told him that I didn't have my own car and would have to wait with him. We walked back inside and he continued to talk to the performer. I felt out of sorts for a lot of obvious reasons but waited until he was ready to leave. Clearly the rest of the evening ended abruptly once I was driven home.
My feelings were hurt and when I saw him at the gym, he avoided me. This added to my pain so I telephoned him, only to receive a blunt, uncaring and angry response. He said I was controlling, insecure and paranoid about him with other women. I told him that I would not be contacting him again; if he wanted to talk to me, it would have to be up to him. I also said that I needed an apology to move forward. He said there was nothing to apologize for. I had been seeing this gentleman for five months...
Lesson Learned: Even if you think you know a gentleman and have been dating for several months, there are no guarantees.
Life Lesson for the Gentleman: It is very rude to ignore your date while flirting with other women. It sends a message that she is not exclusive and that you probably don't care about her.
I began to notice that he worked all of the time and had a lot of female friends at the gym that he conversed with. One time I invited him to a pool party. He came quite late and left abruptly as soon as my friends dispersed. On another occasion I invited him to my neighbour's party. He stayed twenty minutes, didn't eat or drink a thing, but instead, went to buy his sick father a loaf of bread, indicating that he would return. Eventually I left, along with the others. He showed up at my friends' place when the party was over; then stopped by my home, stating that he had been helping his father. I wondered why he had double-booked himself!
On the day of my birthday I never heard from him until late in the evening when he casually messaged me. I reminded him, again, that today was my birthday. At this point he panicked, texting more messages, wishing me well. The next morning I received a "Happy Birthday" message on my answering machine. How nice it would have been to receive that phone call on my birthday! It was apparent that I was not a priority in his life.
The sinker came when he invited me to a classical guitar concert; he asked if we could go "dutch" which I accepted. On the date of the event he picked me up in his red Dodge. I wore a black, silver studded mini with matching platform heels, bulky black and silver jewelry and a casual three quarter sleeve sweater. He wore a golf shirt, designer jeans and running shoes.
The concert was not very good but we were enjoying each other's company so it didn't matter. At intermission, we ran into a couple he knew. He spent a lot of time talking to the attractive, married woman and completely forgot I was there. Eventually, I walked away, saying: "I am going to the back!" He finally joined me. Awkwardly, we returned to our seats.
At the end of the event, we attended a reception given by the performers. He greeted the beautiful guitarist with enthusiasm, asking me to take innumerable photographs of him and her. He handed her his business card and could not be pulled away. After everyone, except for the staff, had left, I suggested we proceed as well. We stepped outside, in the rain. Halfway back to his car, he hesitated declaring: "I want to go back!" I told him that I didn't have my own car and would have to wait with him. We walked back inside and he continued to talk to the performer. I felt out of sorts for a lot of obvious reasons but waited until he was ready to leave. Clearly the rest of the evening ended abruptly once I was driven home.
My feelings were hurt and when I saw him at the gym, he avoided me. This added to my pain so I telephoned him, only to receive a blunt, uncaring and angry response. He said I was controlling, insecure and paranoid about him with other women. I told him that I would not be contacting him again; if he wanted to talk to me, it would have to be up to him. I also said that I needed an apology to move forward. He said there was nothing to apologize for. I had been seeing this gentleman for five months...
Lesson Learned: Even if you think you know a gentleman and have been dating for several months, there are no guarantees.
Life Lesson for the Gentleman: It is very rude to ignore your date while flirting with other women. It sends a message that she is not exclusive and that you probably don't care about her.
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