#6 - The Lawyer

     I met this gentleman on the internet dating site last Spring. He was tall, handsome, well spoken and a fabulous writer. He practiced law in London and had a lovely picture of himself with his little dog on his profile. We exchanged cell numbers and what ensued was nothing short of amazing. He sent me innumerable sonnets, taking me back hundreds of years and making me feel adored. It was like I had met Shakespeare in the 21st century.

     We texted for over a month before we arranged to meet at an outdoor cafe in Toronto. On a beautiful June evening, I set off wearing a black, silver studded mini dress, black nylons and heels, with Swarovski crystal jewelry. As I entered the cafe, another gentleman approached me and offered to buy me a drink. He was also waiting for his date.  I declined.

     The gentleman arriving from London texted me several times and asked me to order wine while I waited. He arrived after an hour, having been delayed in traffic, wearing a casual blue striped shirt, designer jeans and a baseball cap.  His adorable pet accompanied him.

     We sat on the patio, ordered food and drinks and conversed for several hours. I intermittently held and stroked the puppy. At 11:30, I asked him where he was staying and he declared that he was going to another party after this, in Ajax. It was at the home of colleagues and it was a swingers event. He caught me off guard. I asked, "you're kidding?" to which he replied, "no." He began to describe the party, saying that people arrived in couples and socialized on the large property with pools, a hot tub, patios, ... As the night progressed, they undressed. If they saw someone they liked, they would go off in couples into the house and have sex. Eventually they would leave with whomever they had attended.
   
     I told him that it was disgusting and who would go for such a thing! I insisted that I had joined the site to find one guy and only one guy. I told him that I didn't care if I had to meet 50 guys, I would wait until I found a guy who wanted just me. Call it naive; he heard me. He said that if he took me, we could just hang out together and not swing. I said, "you haven't even had me yet and you would take me to a swinger's party!"

     The point is we were comfortable being honest with each other and the evening ended pleasantly. He walked me to my car, kissed me and waved good-bye. I drove home, undressed, washed off my make-up and went to bed. The next day, around noon, I received a text from him, apologizing for not spending the rest of the evening with me and admitting that he shouldn't have gone. He said that he was headed back to London but looked forward to seeing me again.

     We continued to text infrequently and he still wooed me with his wordplay. From time to time he asked me to send him pictures of myself, which I did and he would reply in adoration, like I was the most beautiful woman in the world. Perhaps the distance and our lifestyles were too far apart because we never met again. Sometimes he still contacts me...

Life Lesson - Gentlemen on internet dating sites may have completely different lifestyles than you and don't anticipate changing anyone. Distance can have a huge impact on whether or not a relationship can even get off the ground. 

Life Lesson for the Gentleman - Booking a date with someone new before attending a swinger's party? Considering taking someone you just met to a swinger's party? OMG!