This gentleman was 60 years old, of Irish descent and found me on the internet dating site. He messaged me repeatedly, told me that he was a supervisor in a plant, had varied computer experience in his field, was over six feet tall, and liked attractive women. He was separated with two adult daughters and a lovely granddaughter. His work was very important to him but he enjoyed going out, as did I.
We arranged to meet on a Thursday evening at the Cachet restaurant in Newmarket. It was a snowy winter evening and I decided to wear, black, tight-fitting jeans, an emerald green lace top with matching jewelry, and my black, above the knee boots.
As I left my neighbourhood,I received a text indicating that he was in the parking lot of the restaurant and would meet me outside. I imagined that he would probably want to change venues and scrambled to think of a coffee shop nearby. I indicated to him that I was on my way.
When I arrived, I texted him that I was there and saw a tall, slim gentleman standing by the front door; I approached him. I introduced myself, saying "you don't want to go in?" He responded "you're very pretty, let's go inside." I later confronted him with "if you didn't like the way I looked you wouldn't have gone inside ..." which he denied.
We sat down at a cozy little table in the corner and he asked me to order a drink and dinner. I ordered a spinach, goat-cheese salad and a six ounce Merlot. He ordered a turkey club with sweet potatoe fries and a wine as well. We chatted for hours about his marriage, my kids, his work, my art ...
He told me that the last woman he had met in Newmarket, had arrived drunk on an afternoon date. I was surprised. Then he said that his ex-wife was a severe alcoholic. Red flag alert!! He had nothing good to say about her even though they had been married over thirty years. I asked him if he was helping her and he indicated that there was nothing he could do; she didn't want to get better. She was dying from liver disease and a blood disorder. He would come home and find her passed out on the floor in a pool of blood. This graphic discription stayed with me for some time; I wondered what his role had been in her demise.
That evening, when I arrived home, he texted me to thank me for a lovely time and indicated that he looked forward to our next date. He texted me regularly each morning and suggested that we go to a movie, followed by drinks next Thursday. I agreed.
I hired a service to clean my home for 2 hours prior to my date arriving. I wore black jeans, a black moulin rouge top, I had purchased in Paris two years earlier, my trench coat, burgundy boots and red lipstick. He arrived well suited; this gentleman knew how to dress. I got into his expensive black car and he announced that he had turned the seat warmer on for me. Then we headed out to Silvercity.
We saw "Gangster Squad" with Ryan Gosling, Sean Penn, Emma Stone and Josh Brolin. It was a fabulous film. During the movie he held my hand and it was very nice. We went out for a glass of wine and chatted a bit more. I felt we were connecting; he seemed mature, older than me by a decade, wiser from his experiences. Oh yes, and he was very handsome with an amazing Irish accent.
I knew that he was leaving for Ireland for a two week vacation to see his parents. He disappeared off the dating site and I never heard from him until he messaged me when he returned. I suggested we go out the following Saturday. He agreed. We texted each other from Sunday to Tuesday and then we lost touch but I continued to see him on line. He must have been chatting with others.
Saturday morning, I texted him asking if we were on for that evening. There was quite a pause and then he said that he would have to cancel because of work. I messaged him back after yoga class and asked him how late he was working. He replied, "three o'clock." Then I suggested we meet afterward. He replied, "I won't know if I'm available until later on in the afternoon." I said I would wait for his text. I waited from noon until eight that evening, at which point I contacted my girlfriend and we went out. He did not return my text.
It was a long weekend and on Monday morning he texted me asking what my plans were for the day. I replied that I was going to the gym, doing laundry and going to my son's hockey game in the evening. He texted to say that it seemed like I had a full day. I don't know what he did that weekend but I sense he was not working.
Afterward I frequently saw him on the dating website but we did not message each other. A week later I messaged him suggesting that we might want to go to a Tuesday night movie and provided him with a few options. I waited for his response; he did not reply. Finally I messaged him telling him that I was surprised that a gentleman of his age and position would be on this site if he was already in a relationship. The next morning his photographs were deleted from the website and a few days later his profile was removed.
Lesson Learned - gentlemen on internet dating sites can behave very rudely even if they are well-educated, mature and hold positions of responsibility. They may already be in a relationship.
Life Lesson for the Gentleman - Why would you treat a lady that way? Oh yes, if you are going to behave inappropriately you did the right thing by removing yourself from the website however, you owe me an apology.
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