Wednesday, 20 March 2013

#30 - Enterpreneur - "Let's Get off this Site Together"

    I was attracted to this gentleman because of his subtitle, "Let's get off this Site Together!" His profile stated that he was ready to settle down and was looking for a passionate, fit, positive lady.  I messaged him and he responded.


            During our chats, I learned that he had a business degree from York and owned his own company.  He called himself an entrepreneur, was very vague about the specifics of his work, and kept his private life under wraps. Red flag alert!! He invited me out for dinner and finally disclosed his cell number. We were to meet for drinks at a restaurant in Aurora on a Tuesday evening at 9 pm.


            I arrived wearing a black fitted dress, black boots, drop earrings with matching rhinestone bracelets and an eager smile. I waited over half an hour when the owner approached me stating that the kitchen was closing shortly. He suggested another restaurant nearby. I texted him and advised him about the situation. He indicated that he was on his way. I drove to the next venue, sat down and ordered a glass of red wine.


            He walked in shortly before ten, wearing casual pants and a blue shirt. He said that he was late because of work. We ordered appetizers and conversed for a little over an hour. He told me that he was Jewish and I asked him directly, if he would take a non-Jewish woman seriously. He assured me that it would not be an issue.


            We continued to text over the next week and arranged to go to the cinema the following Tuesday.  At seven on the date scheduled, he called to indicate that his furnace had broken and he would be delayed waiting for the repairman. We planned to meet at the theatre to see "Silver Linings Playbook" at 9:50. I arrived a little early and waited for fifteen minutes before he finally dashed in. He ran up to the kiosk, bought the tickets and we hurried in; the film had already started.


            The movie was very enjoyable. I didn't learn any more about him since our initial visit and began to wonder about his "busy" schedule. On the way out, he helped clean the snow off my car.


            He called me mid-week to invite me out Saturday evening but said that he would have to cancel his Poker game in order to attend.  Two days later, he texted me saying that he had good news; he could make the date. We were to meet at a club in Aurora to go dancing.

            I arrived at the restaurant on time, sat down, and ordered a glass of red wine. I waited for him. The owner approached me to say that the kitchen was closing at 10; I let him know that my date would be here soon. He finally arrived! We ordered dinner and chatted, then walked across the hallway toward the dance floor. We danced for hours. He regularly excused himself to the washroom and always returned with his cell phone in hand. At 1:30, I suggested that we leave; he walked me to my car and kissed me good-night.


            The following weekend I attended a conference and invited him to come to the banquet Sunday evening. He agreed, but I let him know that the reception, with a full jazz band performing, began at 6 pm sharp and I expected him to arrive on time. On the day of the event he texted me to say that he would not make the reception because of work but would arrive in time for dinner.


            I attended the reception alone, wearing a black dress, black heels, my hair in an updo and rhinestone jewelry. I got myself a cranberry spritzer and watched couples dancing to the Jazz tunes. At seven, we were told to enter the ballroom and find our seats. I sat down, saving him a place and just as the first course was being served, he arrived. He wore a red shirt, blue tie and black casual pants. He indicated that he could not stay late because he had to work the next day.


            Another band began playing and couples got up to dance. We danced for an hour and then he said he would like to walk around to check out the karaoke. While we stood listening to various people up at the mike, he told me that a friend of his had dated over a thousand women. I asked him how many he had dated and he said not that many. He continued to discuss various celebrities, assigning each one a number (according to looks). At 11:30, he said he had to get going and I walked him to the hotel parking entrance.


            The next day I saw him on the internet dating site and sent a message: "I joined this site a year ago and told you I met 30 guys. I have learned a lot. Mostly I know that you cannot meet a guy here for a meaningful relationship. There are too many choices and it becomes a revolving door of chatting, meeting, moving on. The grass is always greener scenario never ends and the love tank is always empty; with people holding off for that next, more elusive person ... I'm ready to get off. Are you? Let me know."


            After fifteen hours, I received a response. I had all but given up hearing from him. "Hi thanks for inviting me last night, I had a great time, the food, the drink and especially the company was all good. Your message caught me a bit off guard this morning. I totally enjoy getting together with you. I'm not ready to take it to that level at this point. But like I said I totally enjoy your company and I like our new friendship." 


            Over the next nine days, we texted less frequently. He continued to visit the internet dating site daily. We decided to go see another movie at the same location, on a Tuesday evening.  I told him I would meet him there at 9:15.

           
            On the scheduled day, I arrived, wearing black jeans, black boots, and a fuchsia hoodie.  I waited in the lobby for half an hour before he arrived. He rushed in holding his cell phone, saying that he had texted me that he was on his way. He complimented my hair. I told him that I had left my cell at home and that he was always late, which he denied. We barely made the opening of "The Call".


            Before the movie started, I told him that I had tried messaging him on the internet site but he had not responded. He made some feeble excuses. I told him I saw him on the site daily and asked if he was dating a lot. He down-played it but said there was one girl in particular that he was in contact with regularly. I asked him about her and he explained that she was 38, blonde, blue-eyed, Jewish and lived in his area. I told him that I was right about the Jewish thing I had discussed with him on our first date, which he denied. Finally I told him that I would no longer be texting him. He said that he didn't want to give me up and would text me more often. I remained silent. After the movie, we said our good-byes and drove off.   That was the last time I saw him. 


Life lesson - gentlemen on internet dating sites are often involved in relationships; just using the site to further advance their egos or seek hook-ups. Their "work" is often a justifiable excuse when they are double-booked.  Gentlemen on internet dating sites often have no intention of leaving the site for an exclusive relationship, even if their title says so. 

Life lesson for the gentleman - you claim you don't want to lose me yet put forth no effort in establishing an emotional connection. Relationships are fifty:fifty.




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