During our chats, I learned
that he had a business degree from York and owned his own company. He called himself an entrepreneur, was very
vague about the specifics of his work, and kept his private life under wraps.
Red flag alert!! He invited me out for dinner and finally disclosed his cell
number. We were to meet for drinks at a restaurant in Aurora on a Tuesday
evening at 9 pm.
I arrived wearing a
black fitted dress, black boots, drop earrings with matching rhinestone
bracelets and an eager smile. I waited over half an hour when the owner
approached me stating that the kitchen was closing shortly. He suggested
another restaurant nearby. I texted him and advised him about the situation. He
indicated that he was on his way. I drove to the next venue, sat down and
ordered a glass of red wine.
He walked in shortly before ten,
wearing casual pants and a blue shirt. He said that he was late because of work.
We ordered appetizers and conversed for a little over an hour. He told me that
he was Jewish and I asked him directly, if he would take a non-Jewish woman
seriously. He assured me that it would not be an issue.
We continued to text over the next
week and arranged to go to the cinema the following Tuesday. At seven on the date scheduled, he called to
indicate that his furnace had broken and he would be delayed waiting for the
repairman. We planned to meet at the theatre to see "Silver Linings
Playbook" at 9:50. I arrived a little early and waited for fifteen minutes
before he finally dashed in. He ran up to the kiosk, bought the tickets and we hurried
in; the film had already started.
The movie was very enjoyable.
I didn't learn any more about him since our initial visit and began to wonder
about his "busy" schedule. On the way out, he helped clean the snow
off my car.
He called me mid-week to invite me
out Saturday evening but said that he would have to cancel his Poker game in
order to attend. Two days later, he texted me saying that he had good
news; he could make the date. We were to meet at a club in Aurora to go dancing.
I arrived at the restaurant on time, sat
down, and ordered a glass of red wine. I waited for him. The owner approached
me to say that the kitchen was closing at 10; I let him know that my date would
be here soon. He finally arrived! We ordered dinner and chatted, then walked
across the hallway toward the dance floor. We danced for hours. He regularly
excused himself to the washroom and always returned with his cell phone in
hand. At 1:30, I suggested that we leave; he walked me to my car and kissed me
good-night.
The following weekend I attended a
conference and invited him to come to the banquet Sunday evening. He agreed,
but I let him know that the reception, with a full jazz band performing, began
at 6 pm sharp and I expected him to arrive on time. On the day of the event he
texted me to say that he would not make the reception because of work but would
arrive in time for dinner.
I attended the reception alone,
wearing a black dress, black heels, my hair in an updo and rhinestone jewelry.
I got myself a cranberry spritzer and watched couples dancing to the Jazz
tunes. At seven, we were told to enter the ballroom and find our seats. I sat
down, saving him a place and just as the first course was being served, he arrived.
He wore a red shirt, blue tie and black casual pants. He indicated that he
could not stay late because he had to work the next day.
Another band began playing and
couples got up to dance. We danced for an hour and then he said he would
like to walk around to check out the karaoke. While we stood listening to various
people up at the mike, he told me that a friend of his had dated over a
thousand women. I asked him how many he had dated and he said not that many. He
continued to discuss various celebrities, assigning each one a number
(according to looks). At 11:30, he said he had to get going and I walked him to
the hotel parking entrance.
The next day I saw him on
the internet dating site and sent a message: "I
joined this site a year ago and told you I met 30 guys. I have learned a lot.
Mostly I know that you cannot meet a guy here for a meaningful relationship.
There are too many choices and it becomes a revolving door of chatting,
meeting, moving on. The grass is always greener scenario never ends and the
love tank is always empty;
with people holding off for that next, more elusive person ... I'm ready to get
off. Are you? Let me know."
After fifteen hours, I received a
response. I had all but given up hearing from him. "Hi thanks for inviting me last night, I had a great time,
the food, the drink and especially the company was all good. Your message
caught me a bit off guard this morning. I totally enjoy getting together with you.
I'm not ready to take it to that level at this point. But like I said I totally
enjoy your company and I like
our new friendship."
Over the next nine days, we texted less
frequently. He continued to visit the internet dating site daily. We decided to
go see another movie at the same location, on a Tuesday evening. I told him I would meet him there at 9:15.
On the scheduled day, I arrived,
wearing black jeans, black boots, and a fuchsia hoodie. I waited in the lobby for half an hour before
he arrived. He rushed in holding his cell phone, saying that he had texted me
that he was on his way. He complimented my hair. I told him that I had left my
cell at home and that he was always late, which he denied. We barely made the
opening of "The Call".
Before the movie started, I told him that
I had tried messaging him on the internet site but he had not responded. He
made some feeble excuses. I told him I saw him on the site daily and asked if
he was dating a lot. He down-played it but said there was one girl in
particular that he was in contact with regularly. I asked him about her and he
explained that she was 38, blonde, blue-eyed, Jewish and lived in his area. I
told him that I was right about the Jewish thing I had discussed with him on
our first date, which he denied. Finally I told him that I would no longer be
texting him. He said that he didn't want to give me up and would text me more often.
I remained silent. After the movie, we said our good-byes and drove
off. That was the last time I saw him.
Life lesson - gentlemen on
internet dating sites are often involved in relationships; just using the site
to further advance their egos or seek hook-ups. Their "work" is often
a justifiable excuse when they are double-booked. Gentlemen on internet dating sites
often have no intention of leaving the site for an exclusive relationship, even
if their title says so.
Life lesson for the gentleman - you claim you don't
want to lose me yet put forth no effort in establishing an emotional
connection. Relationships are fifty:fifty.
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