#10 - Government Employee

I saw this gentleman on the internet dating site and was attracted to his smile. He was 46 years old, 5'6" tall, a Capricorn, lived in Pickering and worked for the government. He sent me his cell number, so I texted him. He began calling me several times over the course of a week. He said something about looking for someone to move into his home, to which I responded that you meet, date and see where it goes from there. If there is a connection, you don’t have to demand anything. The weekend came and I began making plans to go to a dance in Pickering. I didn't think much of this guy since our last conversation, but as I was getting ready to leave, he called. We chatted briefly and he insisted on meeting me at the dance. He clarified that his picture was over 2 years old, he had gained 20 pounds, was 53 years old, was a Taurus, not a Capricorn and his arches had fallen, making him a few inches shorter. I asked if he looked anything like his picture and he said he did. (Red flags everywhere!) I arrived at the dance, paid my way in, and went to the bar to order myself a drink. The gentleman approached me, looking older than his picture and much shorter. He was barely my height, clearly not more than 5'6". He bought me a red wine and joined me at my table. We danced the entire night; he was a good latin dancer. Afterward he walked me to my car. I heard from him a few times during the week. He explained that he had sole custody of his sons, ages 10 and 12 years. His wife had cheated on him twice (he took her back after the first time and she repeated the behaviour). He also explained that he was very involved in his sons' rep hockey. The following Saturday as I was driving back from Toronto, I received a phone call, inviting me to his place; apparently his ex-wife had just picked up the boys for the night. It was 7 pm; I had already made plans to go to a dance in Aurora but invited him to join me if he liked. I arrived at the dance at 10 pm and paid my way in. He ran up to greet me. Once again we danced all evening. He invited himself back to my place; I tried to get out of it, but in the end succumbed. My son texted me; asking if I would pick him up from his friend's place. The gentleman followed me to a home on Howard Avenue in Sharon. When we arrived at my place, I introduced him to my son and we sat in the family room. I brought out a 375 ml bottle of Chateau de Beaucastel, 2010, which we shared in crystal wine glasses. He said the wine was amazing! He left at 2 am. In the morning I texted him to make sure he had returned safely. During the week he called a few times but I was rather disturbed when I saw him on the internet dating site, when I went on briefly to check my messages. On the Thursday he called me and invited me to a restaurant near his home, the following Saturday evening. I accepted even though I wasn't keen on a gentleman who was really short and had sole custody of two pre-teen boys. I wore a grey, crushed velvet mini dress with a black short top, grey knee-high boots and a pandora necklace. As I arrived he thanked me for driving all the way and walked outside in his shirtsleeves to greet me. The restaurant was nice; he ordered a bottle of wine and appetizers. Once again we danced all evening. I found it odd that he got into an argument with the waiter; refusing to pay the cover charge. I stayed out of it, but felt that it was in poor taste. He had explained to me that money was no object; he was mortgage-free, had a good paying job (earned more than I did) and his wife paid him $2100 per month in child support. He invited me back to his place and proceeded to show me around. His home was extremely meticulous; I sensed that he could be obsessive/compulsive, when he offered me a glass of water and then washed the glass as soon as I was finished with it. He kept telling me to whisper in case his boys heard us and told me that his wife was constantly, kicking the tire, wanting him back, even though they were divorced. I asked him if he was considering taking her back, a third time, which he denied. I spent the night. The next morning he said I had to leave before his kids woke up; I left because I had a committment with my daughter at 9 am. He called me briefly at 10 am and explained that he was busy celebrating his son's tenth birthday with his family. I decided that I would not drive to Pickering every week; we would have to take turns, if we continued to see each other. During the week, he texted me a few times. Mid-week, I texted him and he did not reply until the next day, while he was cruising the internet dating site. I messaged him on the site and was surprised to see that he had deleted all of our previous messages (what was that about?) "It was very rude of you not to return my text message yesterday", I said. He called me, on the defensive, claiming that he was just on the internet dating site checking his messages and that he had not received my text from the previous day. I clarified that when I received his message in the morning, my thread of the message from the previous day was attached. He had clearly received it, which he continued to deny. I also told him that I didn't think he should be on the internet dating site if we were being intimate. Once again he said something about looking for someone to move into his home. Good luck, I thought! Lesson #10 - gentlemen on internet dating sites often put up false information about their age, size, birthdate, height ... and may not intend to spend much money on you, even if they can afford it. Life Lesson for the Gentleman - Don't lie on your profile about everything; it's weird when you have to take it back (fallen arches, my foot). After 3 dates and spending the night with the lady, get off the internet dating site; otherwise it's over, before it begins.