#23 - The Semi-Pro Guitarist and The Artist

He messaged me on the internet dating site and from the beginning he gave me his msn address, not wanting to communicate there. We talked about art and music. He loved my art, understood it; said I was very talented. We chatted several times a week over the course of a two month period, progressing to skype. He had this habit of logging on naked, and I would repeatedly tell him not to expose himself, which he respected. Twice I took him on tours of my artwork on the walls of my home. Without the usual cliches, he wanted to know about every piece of art I showed him. I asked him to play for me but he said that the audio did not work. He showed me his Fender guitar and it inspired me to do a collage, which I began working on. He had wanted to be an artist but had decided to study music instead. He drew cartoon figures but never showed me any. For many years he had earned his living as a semi-pro guitarist and more recently got a day job, as an IT guy in a bank. He still attended rehearsals and performed on weekends. He had shared custody of his ten year old daughter and was a good dad; that much was certain (I saw his daughter's artwork on his bedpost via skype). We would speak about the lessons he was helping her with. He led an extremely busy life with little or no down time. I empathized with his schedule because I remembered leading a similar lifestyle years back. In short, I grew to really like him. One day I suggested that we meet. He asked if I would sketch him and I collaborated in this idea. We met in a Woodbridge cafe. I drove the thirty minutes to see him with my art supplies in tow. When I arrived, he walked in, looking exactly like his picture on the internet dating site. He was a tall, handsome gentleman with blond hair (half Italian, half English). He wore jeans and an artsy tee-shirt. I wore a tuxedo coat, tight black jeans, a fitted pink top, pink lipstick and heels. He bought two lattes as I took out my sketchbook, charcoal pencils and eraser. He sat down and I began to draw him. I remember his high forhead, deep set brown eyes, solid nose, sculpted lips, the contours of his cheeks, chin, his neck, shoulders, and so on. While I sketched, he was constantly being bombarded by a barrage of cell phone texts which he responded to, claiming that they were from a sick colleague who was undergoing chemo and whom he had to support (again quite honourable). Eventually he cut our date short announcing that he had to prepare for his evening performance. He gave me directions to his home and invited me to come over some evening. I stated that I liked to go out on dates to which he responded "With our clothes on?" and I relied "Yes, with our clothes on." I texted him a few more times after that but he never initiated anything. One day I invited him to an upcoming art show and he declined stating that he was too busy to attend. I texted him back and told him that I didn't think he was into me and that it wasn't right that I was always texting him. There was a long pause, afterwhich he responding by saying that I should get on with my life, that he didn't have time to date me. I never texted him again. The unfinished collage of the Fender guitar sits on my dresser, near my bed. I often wonder as I walk past it, if I will ever complete it. Repeated Lesson #23 - Guys on internet dating sites are often in committed relationships and have no intention of getting to know you on a deeper level. Life Lesson for the Gentleman - Turn your cell phone off or better yet, leave it in your car when you are on a date with a lady. It is very rude to be texting someone else while you are meeting someone new.