Monday, 8 April 2013

#2 - Government Employee

     This gentleman messaged me on the internet dating site because he said he liked my photos.  His profile indicated that he was fit, seeking a fit lady and looking for a relationship.  We only chatted a couple of times and then he asked to meet.  I suggested he drive up on a Friday evening but he said that the following Tuesday would be better since he had to attend court in Newmarket.  I wrote back asking what he was in court for and his response was that it was a custody battle and his divorce.  We agreed to meet at 4 pm on Tuesday at Starbucks on Yonge Street.

     I arrived at Chapters wearing black jeans, black boots, a black fitted top, betsey johnson  bow earrings and a large smile.  I found a book called "The Power" by Rhonda Byrne, purchased it and began reading it in the coffee shop.  I waited. 

     At 4:10, I texted him and he replied that he was in the store.  I asked him to come over to the coffee shop.  He said he was on his cell talking to Visa because they had declined his credit card.  I asked him to come over anyways.

     He approached me, wearing black pants, a black sweater, casual jacket and his cell phone attached to his ear.  I heard him arguing with someone at the other end about his credit card and then they put him on hold.  He was pacing up and down in front of my table.  I asked:  "shall we get a coffee?"  His response:  "you can if you want; I'm not going to have one."  "I think I will," I replied.

     When I returned he began telling me about how crazy his ex-wife was and how the judge had given her interim custody of his children.  He continued by saying that she had black-mailed him into marrying her because she was pregnant and immediately afterward she had quit her job, forcing him to support her.  Huge red flag alerts here!

     He was still pacing, still on his cell phone, now arguing with someone else about a $4000 charge that had been declined.  They put him on hold again.  He turned to me and continued.  He said:  "she's crazy but they're only allowing me to see my kids for two hours on Wednesday evening and five hours on Saturday." He said that she was a terrible mother who didn't wash them, dress them nicely or care for them adequately.  I responded:  "if you feel that way, ask for a psychiatric assessment."  He replied: "that's what they've asked of me."  More red flag alerts!

     He was very agitated, angry with Visa and with his ex-wife.  He snarled:  "After I married her, she had the nerve to gain a hundred pounds.  She went from 120 to 220 pounds."  I interjected:  "no woman would gain a hundred pounds to spite a man.  Impossible!"  Then my cell phone rang.  I took the call because he was on his phone the entire time.  I said:  "it's my daughter; I have to take this call."  We spoke for a minute about my student who was coming to my home at five to be tutored. 

     The gentleman commented:  "you have to be home at five?"  I replied:  "yes, I have to get going."  We said our good-byes and he said that he would call me later.  As I left he was still on his phone with Visa.

     Later that evening I received a text from him apologizing for his behaviour and saying that tomorrow evening he was meeting another woman from the site and that she was probably going to be the one.  We could be friends if I liked, he continued.  I replied saying that I had many friends and wished him good luck with everything.  Then I deleted him!

     Lesson Learned - Gentlemen on internet dating sites may have their lives in shambles, emotionally, financially and otherwise. 

     Life Lesson for the Gentleman - Wow!  You need an intervention.  You are definitely not ready to meet anyone.  Get your finances and divorce settled before you attempt to be a part of another lady's life.  Also, and this is the most important point, never, ever, cut up your ex-wife in front of a prospective girlfriend.

    

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